An Honored Position - Being a Mother
We live in a time when honoring each other is being degraded as something that establishes “someone just might be better than me and that’s not fair”. We degrade authority for some socialistic viewpoint that everyone is the same. We degrade gender for horrific consequences that tears down humanity and the purpose of God given life. Oh yes, we see God being relegated to a demeaned almost demented position and man exalted to be his own god.
This is nuts! We have traded entitlement for a person who by wise choices and courage, lives and moves in the being God created them to be - a person who does not define themselves by what the culture of their family, neighborhood, society says they should be - a person that does not submit to those in governmental authority that arrogantly think man is stupid and those authorities know all the answers for your life, that will create some required program that you must submit to for your own good.
So tell me, if those who want everyone to be the same, treat humanity as idiots, without wisdom or reason, aren’t they exalting themselves about those they are degrading. Oh they see it as doing good and feel mighty proud of themselves.
What does this have to do with motherhood? Well, motherhood is being demeaned. Women who marry a man, give birth to children and stay home to raise children, educate children and train them in righteousness, integrity and honor are looked upon by some of the general populace as lesser, stupid and lacking tolerance. If that were not the case, why are women marrying women. That can’t produce anything like a wonderful, beautiful child. Men who marry men aren’t built to be mothers.
I thank God every day that I am a mother who married a man and gave life to three sons who have married and given life to five grandchildren. I thank God that there are families with a mother and father that embrace a child in adoption. I thank God for single people who embrace a child in adoption. I thank God that He has given the ultimate guidelines for marriage and parenting that build strong, healthy families which are the foundational building blocks of any society. These building blocks will not crack and destroy. It is proven in the history of many societies and nations that when those building blocks compromise their God-given intent, the foundation crumbles and that nation will dissolve.
One of my sons went to Heaven when he was 29 years old. Here is his testimony of what he wanted me to know about how he felt on a Mothers’ Day. This says it all.
Happy Mothers’ Day to women everywhere who are moms.
Flexibility - The Only Way to Overcome
You’d think after two and a half years of living alone I would be tired of it. There are times in my life, I do begin to feel that way, but I look around and think, that just would take too much emotional energy to share my home life with someone other than my family! So, I have decided to change a few things around my home to freshen it up and make it my very own habitat!
Last summer, I had my great room carpet taken away and replaced it with a beautiful Brazilian Cherry wooden floor. That is an amazing answer to dust! It takes forever for my AC filter to get dirty plus it gives such a classy look to my living and dining area. Right now I am in the middle of cleaning up after having granite put in my kitchen and master bath. It is interesting for someone like me, who loves order, to live in clutter - but I will tell you, my clutter is quite organized. I am also thankful for Native Sun’s prepared food in their deli and hot bar and paper plates. This has made me realize that my “creature comforts” are just rearranged, not removed. I am so thankful the Lord has really helped me be a flexible person!!
Flexibility is not only a physical attribute but an emotional one as well. It seems that when we have our heart set on something going just the way we think it should go, and hope that it will go, and become resolute in it’s going, the Lord throws us a curve ball! It isn’t that He says no to the outcome, but the route to the outcome requires us to be focused and determined, never wavering, always positive that the outcome is what He promised. This takes flexibility because the promised outcome is not an instant, nor near instant outcome. There usually are hinderances which can challenge the qualities of our character. We have the option of overcoming those things with patience and endurance, or we can blame, become angry, yell, holler, cry and say ugly stuff. This last part just tends to prolong the outcome because we then must repent, forgive, reconcile and all those things that could be avoided if we would just hush.
Looking around my organized mess, I am proclaiming clean, organized cabinets and drawers, lined with brand new shelf liners and crumb free!! I am thankful for lovely new faucets, soon to be installed and water soon to be turned on. I can see it now! I can hear that water splashing in my new sinks - oh joy!!
We must rise above the negative emotions that demand we get “our way” all the time - even most of the time, or some of the time in the ways life challenges us. I have to laugh at my situation because of my nature and that is really a healthy way to go through those times requiring perseverance.
What are your challenges today? There are things that in the light of eternity are minor but also there are those things that are very serious. I have been through both types and found that the Lord is faithful, sustaining and loving through it all. His strength is made perfect, especially in our weakness. His wisdom gives us the very strategy we need to make it through. His mercy and kindness is toward us even when we can’t live up to what we think His expectations are. I promise you, you will be whole even when you feel broken beyond repair. You will become flexible in Him - just let Him guide you through the hard and the easy times. He really does a better job than we could ever do. Flexibility requires us to release control - yep, I did say that! Oh well - we all know that we are in the process of learning how to do that! I think that’s called spiritual OJT.
Praying that when you read this, it will encourage you to have a flexible day in the Lord!
New Days. New Ways.
It is time to face forward and focus. 2012 means order, discipline and taking up those things we thought were lost or hidden and laying down the insecurities that keep us from fulfilling those dreams and visions. All of this takes order, discipline and focus - no distractions, nothing others put upon us to do their will and engage in their plans for us. That is minipulation and if you have friends, even family members that control you with guilt, reminding you of past failures, set a big boundary. You are not living for them and taking the blame for their lack of accomplishment.
We each have a divine plan and purpose on this planet while we journey to our ultimate destination. That divine plan is given by the Creator of the Universe and imparted to us through His Son, Jesus the Christ and carried out through us by Holy Spirit when we yield to His direction. So often we take up the causes of this world that make us feel good and add them to our list of “do good”. We can actually waste time sojourning in the “do goods” without accomplishing the purpose for which we are created. Yep - we can decieve ourselves by buying into what the world system dictates, our careers dictate and friends and family dictate.
It takes time to seek the Lord and hear His purpose by reading His word, the Holy Bible; spending time in worshp and prayer and living a life of thanksgiving, not greed and selfishness. He does not dictate - He inspires, reveals and motivates by His great love for us which is entirely selfless and unconditional. His plans for us are perfect. Who on this earth can match that!
Recently, my son Johnny’s car which I drove since he and my husband went to Heaven, was totaled. The car was 14 years old and in excellent condition. I was protected, unharmed and then prayerfully sought the Lord regarding another vehicle. In two weeks I was driving a luxurious sedan with the “bells and whistles” I never told anyone I wanted. The pearl white color, power this and that, XM radio, alloy wheels, 4 Michelins, etc., etc., etc., everything was there. Only the Lord knew because I never verbalized what I wanted-to anyone.
Each of us is His unique creation and He knows every detail about us. That is why we must allow Him to reveal His plans and purposes for us and then pursue them. He equips us and shows us His way to accomplish the desires and visions He places in us. Remember, Jesus always said, “Follow me.”
May 2012 be the year you allow Him full access to you and reveal the plans He has for you. May you follow Him and find fulfillment in Him that no earthly plan can match!
“Being confident of this very thing, that he who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Jesus Christ.” Phil. 1:6
Autumn Reflections
Maybe it’s because it is the season of the Biblical Feasts of Rosh Hashana, Yom Kippur and Sukkot. Maybe it’s the cool breeze that brushes your cheek in the early morning. Maybe it’s the smell of cinnamon-apple muffins baking. Maybe it’s the awareness of upcoming celebrations, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah and Christmas. Maybe it’s because we are on the cusp of a new year. Whatever the stimulus, the season of Autumn propagates reflections of “Where have I been and where am I going?”.
Life without purpose equals existence at it’s lowest point. That certainly does not mean a person abrogates responsibility, but think about this-Does a person effectuate their purpose by just discharging their responsibilities diligently. Bustling about energetically does not equal carrying out divine purpose. It can mean avoidance of divine purpose and a bend toward self-importance, ritualistically checking off a list that makes a person feel fulfilled - sort of. Unfortunately, that kind of fulfillment is shallow and short-lived as a person constantly explores other pursuits for greater achievements. In other words, looking for the ginormous goose bumps that come from the accolades of others which advance self-esteem. Again, a short-lived “filling” is the result. Is this what we desire to replicate year after year or can there be a better way?
Sometimes the tail wags the dog and all of our striving to be filled in that secret place in our heart results in our trying to do things in our own efforts, making choices based on how we see our abilities, strengths and weaknesses. Too often, our motivation and fear of failure are the result of comparative analysis with others. Instead of “staffing” our weaknesses, we try to hide them. Heaven forbid that someone would see our imperfections!
Well, there is One who sees it all - weaknesses, strenghts, abilities, etc. etc. etc. His name is El Shaddai, Almighty God, Father, Creator and many more. In John 4:14-15, Jesus talks to a woman whom he met at Jacob’s well in Samaria, about water that fills a person so completely, they would never thirst again. Jesus first referred to the water drawn from the well that was made by man. This water would only quench thirst for a short time and a person would have to continually drink to provide their own satisfaction. The well could even dry up!
Jesus replied, “Anyone who drinks this water will soon become thirsty again.
But those who drink the water I give will never be thirsty again.
It becomes a fresh, bubbling spring within them, giving them eternal life.” (NLT)
The Apostle Paul knew about weaknesses. He was an intellectual; educated at the feet of Rabbi Gamaliel; a Torah observant Hebrew that persecuted followers of Jesus because of his ignorance of the identity of Messiah Yeshua - Jesus. After learning at the feet of Jesus, who became the strength of his life, Paul humbly penned words Jesus said to him,
”My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” (KJV)
Purpose is discovered in One alone - Jesus, Messiah, Savior, Redeemer and King. He gives purpose that was destined just for each of us. No one was left out. This is a purposeful life that that does not leave anyone wanting. This is a life that satisfies beyond any substance, person, place or thing. He is the One that constantly fills us.
If you are weary of trying so hard to live a “good” life and feel dry and unfulfilled no matter how determined you are and diligent your efforts may be, there is good news. Jesus said to come to Him if you are weary and He would provide rest for your soul. Today, stop the cycle of futility and come into the pathway of eternity where there is peace and purpose. Invite Jesus into you life - make Him Lord and allow Him to lead you and reveal your true purpose. His way brings life in abundance- His love brings joy and peace. He is the way, the truth and the life.
Let me know if you have asked Jesus to be your Savior and Lord. Tell someone that you have chosen life and are not going back to being a slave of your old expectations. Jesus makes all things new - just for you.
Life-giving Love
Memorial Day is a time to truly reflect on why we still exist on this earth and the purpose for our existence. Many role models are thrown before our eyes each day. Have you checked out at your grocery store lately? Got milk? Myriads of ads that entice us and render us coming up short in the external looks department are everywhere. Anti-heros are exalted as heros because they get away with things at one time were thought of as horrific but secretly we’d love to do them. Do we find ourselves cheering for those that are the experts on life because they tolerate things that actually destroy life. Has the “Hollywood” standard of righteousness invaded our beliefs?
What do we set before our eyes? Those things really do determine what we believe and then affect how we behave. Patriotism is now considered something that is “old-fashioned” and does not allow for everyone’s input. Judeo-Christian ethics have turned into some sort of bigotry in the eyes of those politically correct. Standards of behavior now allow immorality to be the standard of behavior. Insanity in the morals department is abounding. Check it out-parents are now ignoring the gender of their baby, giving the baby the “right” to determine “its” gender. And how will that child do this - experimentation with both genders? Self-absorbtion and the motivation to do “good” things to make one “feel good” about one’s self is rampant.
There is a solution to this craziness. It is simple and yet it takes courage to stand against the bizarre. Change the role models, stand for Judeo-Christian ethics and be a Patriot. Because our nation was founded on Biblical standards and it took great Patriotism to form this Nation, we do not have to apologize for believing and acting on these principles.
We have great role-models that made the ultimate sacrifice for love of our country and the American people. Those names and even those unknown are written on memorials in our cities, towns and our nation’s capital. Those names represent us and we must remember. These are Patriots and there is no shame here!
There is one role model who made the ultimate sacrifice that affects our life more than any other. This is the one who became like us in all of our ugliness so that we could become like Him in all of His purity and glory. His name is Jesus, the Christ, our Redeemer, our Savior, our Deliverer, our Champion. To stand for Him, to declare His love for all people and our love for Him is the way to change the incorrectness of “political correctness”.
This means we must know in whom we believe and show forth His love and light in all we do and say. That is our challenge and that takes discipline, conviction and commitment. This is our purpose on this earth - our will is His will. This is life-giving love - dying to self and putting on Christ. Dr. Edwin Louis Cole put it this way: Love desires to benefit others at the expense of self; Lust desires to benefit self at the expense of others. Are you ready to walk in this life-giving love?
Motherhood - A Privilege
Do we know how to honor those who are mothers? In the current culture in the United States, it seems like we have demeaned motherhood. Abortion is rampant; news stories of abused children, trafficking of children, and abandonment seem to be never-ending. Possibly we have devalued life to a place where whatever a person wants to do should be accepted without question otherwise you are accused of bigotry and hate speech. Values that esteem life and honor mothers and fathers are considered subordinate to beliefs made legal by persons that like to feel good about themselves because they tolerate values and lifestyles diametrically opposed to Judeo-Christian ethics. Values now are subjective issues instead of moral absolutes.
It is all so intertwined that we might find ourselves even tolerating behavior in our children that leads to destructive behavior instead of developing moral citizens that love God and love our nation. We fear society’s opinion instead of courageously standing for ethics that reflect Biblical Culture. Biblical Culture does not tolerate bigotry, the dishonoring of marriage of one man and one woman and parenthood. God created fathers and mothers. He has directed us to teach His values and His standards to our children.
It was a privilege for my husband and I to have three sons and raise them to know their God, His Son Jesus Christ and live a life led by the Spirit of the living God and His Word. It is a privilege to be a mother, a grandmother and one who loves the Lord God with all her heart, soul mind and strength. It is a privilege to teach the next generation how to be a loving mother. It is a privilege to have daughters and sons that may not have a mother and pass on to them those standards that the Lord has set forth.
It is time for mothers who love the Lord to rise up and pass on not only to their own children but to others, a mother’s love, her wisdom, her kindness and her blessing. You can throw in a good home cooked meal or at least some really good cookies as well.
For all the mothers that read this, may God’s love and peace embrace you. You are honored, valued and highly esteemed.
Gen. 2:24; Ex. 20:12; Deut. 6:4-7; Titus 2:3-5
Walls or Boundaries – Your Choice
As we go through this life, we encounter challenges that come through relationships with others, starting with family. As young children, we may receive wounds and hurts from parents, siblings and relatives that can form and shape how we see ourselves. Those that have been victims of abuse of any type including constant negative input will learn to compartmentalize their lives and build walls around those areas of hurt. The reasoning is that walls will protect them from the ones creating the pain. This also can become a life response to anyone in their future that creates stress and hurt. As walls are built, people are kept out, many times even those who do not create a painful situation. Trust broken in one human relationship can be contagious and infect other relationships, even ones where trust has not been broken. Control and protection of one’s self becomes the dominant driving force in the life of the one initially rejected by those who are supposed to love and care for them. The wall ends up surrounding the one who is hurt and closes out everyone else.
Boundaries are healthy alternatives to wall building. When one who is harmed sets a boundary around the one creating the pain, freedom from fear of being hurt again can be established. Boundaries are strengthened when the one who was hurt forgives the one who created the pain. The boundary is then set in a healthy format, not from a heart of resentment and bitterness, but from a heart of love. This may not be felt in one’s emotions right away, but eventually forgiveness brings freedom.
Of course, when trust is broken, it takes time to reestablish the relationship. The relationship needs to stay within the boundary lines until trust is reestablished. When trust cannot be reestablished, the boundary remains. The constant in any of this is the forgiveness foundation, which frees ones soul from the contaminants of hate, anger and bitterness. A heart at peace is life to the body – healthy in spirit, soul and body.
Cling to bitterness, build walls - be isolated and in despair.
Forgive, set boundaries - be at peace and be free.
It is your choice.
A Year In Review
A year in review can be enlightening as you glean the overview of life-changing events. Daily, subtle changes are not recognizable until a season of time passes and you realize that those things that once bothered you, don’t seem to matter anymore. On November 1, 2009 I felt like I returned somehow and started to be who I really was. Each day from then on, I experienced changes - in my likes, my looks, my hopes and even those dreams that I thought were lost. Life really is good and can be enjoyed when you make the choice to be joyful, expect good things and not to give up on anything.
Without faith and trust in the Lord and His ability to love me, even in the worst moments, life is lived on a subterranean level-always under the surface, blindly trying to find your way out of the previous day’s life-events. It is so much better to look forward to what He has planned for the next day with joy! (That actually is a choice-emotions cannot get involved).
Did you know that people really don’t know how to relate when you are successfully happy with your life? It is difficult to deal with a truly content person who seems to love life. I have experienced the strangest comments as I walked through life after my precious son Johnny and husband John went to live with the Lord in Heaven. I was graced by the Lord to lose some pounds and get a new wardrobe. That was fun, but loss (either of people or weight) invokes some rather odd responses. I had to learn how to overlook and guard my heart. It was funny at times and at other times I felt like the Lord put me in restraints! (He took mercy on the one making the comment.)
Possibly a list of “What to Say to Someone Who Experiences Loss” might be a benefit to your sphere of friends and family. It might be a benefit to yourself as well. I found that what I said about me had a profound effect on how I grew as a person who had the privilege of knowing and loving two very special people and letting them go into their future. I had to learn to love myself and enjoy living again. Of course, when the Lord says He is your husband, you can’t feel unloved and you sometimes feel very spoiled (I do have to admit I like that part a lot).
2011 is a great year and I do look forward to the joy it is bringing to me and my family! But first, Happy Hanukkah and Merry Christmas - Have a wonderful rest of 2010! I am.
LIFE THAT LIVES ON
Did you ever ponder about those who live in Heaven - what are they doing and what about everything they did on earth? Does it all just stop? Do their talents, giftings, hopes and dreams die with them or does eternal life mean that life really does go on? Are they like the angels as stated by God, unfettered in their movements? Over the past months, I wondered what John and Johnny were doing. That seemed rather normal as I do believe they are fully alive.
Over this past year, I was able to handle our finances well, take care of my home (bi-fold door coming off its track, flappers needing replacement, and various other maintenance items) even when I felt emotionally depleted. I did ask the Lord, how that could be, especially when my emotional bank account was rather low. He replied, “I am still answering John’s prayers.” I was overwhelmed with delight - wow, He, the God of the Angel Armies, was still answering John’s prayers. That meant, the prayers my husband prayed were ongoing and the answers were still forthcoming! John was concerned about what would happen to me after he left and went to live in Heaven. God, my Father, was quick to continue to make provision for me in response to my husband’s prayers.
How wonderful to know that prayers that have gone before us still are ready to spill out from the golden bowls before the throne of God in Heaven. This means that when we read the Bible, those prayers that the fathers of our faith wrote, even Jesus Himself, especially in John 17, are still being answered. They are unrestricted by time! Our prayers are unrestricted by time! How marvelous for us that we can read all the prayers the Lord Jesus Christ prayed for us and know that He will answer them so the Father will be glorified in the Son in us.
It is time to take the limits off God answering prayer and see it from an eternal perspective, not in our own selfish “do it now” attitude. How many times have we felt that God did not hear our prayers because we placed a time limit on Him. Let’s read and reread John 14-17 and be encouraged by the love the Lord Jesus shows us as He comes to the end of His life in a body of flesh which is about to be sacrificed for our redemption, healing and eternal life.
I still wonder what John and Johnny are doing, but one thing I know is that their good works follow them (Rev. 14:13) and their prayers are still effective and producing results as the Lord faithfully answers them. That is something to make one rejoice in a big way!
English Standard Version
John 17:20 - 23
“I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me. The glory that you have given me I have given to them, that they may be one even as we are one, I in them and you in me, that they may become perfectly one, so that the world may know that you sent me and loved them even as you loved me. “
LOVING LIFE: A NEW BEGINNING
What do you do when you have never really lived by yourself - I mean never. Lots of suggestions come along-get a pet: a cat, a dog, a tweeting bird, a ferret, and other such animals. Get married again (just when you are getting used to living with yourself). Keep busy (doing what?). It seems to me that being busy for busy’s sake is rather foolish, unproductive and wasteful of one’s time. People want to fix you and they do mean well when these suggestions are posed.
As difficult as the adjustment is going from three living in your home to one, especially when the two change their address to 777 Streets of Gold, Heaven, the future can be enormously bright. Even when memories provoke a gamut of emotions, those memories can become treasures and life an adventure. It isn’t a simple process, but it certainly is an attainable goal. In addition, it is a goal you cannot reach by yourself but must pursue by resting in the grace and mercy of Almighty God during the pursuit.
It seems when emotions are strained it is difficult to focus and think. Raw emotions provoke raw responses that don’t truly reflect how you honestly feel. A complex stew of feelings and emotional weariness makes even the simplest of tasks seem an enormous undertaking. There is a solution, but it does take an inner resolve to daily press into that solution. Too often we take the opinions of the well meaning and try them out delaying our pressing on towards the goal we truly want.
How do we get out of the stew and move on? This may sound simplistic, but it is something I found to be the way, the truth and the life. Seek the Lord with all your heart, all your mind and all your strength, even when your heart is broken, your mind is confused and your strength is puny. It is like learning a new task or exercising when you haven’t in a long time. You begin by doing it in small ways, but staying consistent in your doing. Pursue your goal of finding peace, joy and feeling love again by taking a little time with the Lord each day. Pick up the Word, the Bible, and feed yourself with its love and power. His Word works its truth in your inner self and you begin to notice change. Things that once would bring irritation don’t. People that once brought pressure won’t feel so threatening. You laugh again and times of sorrow diminish. People notice the change and tell you about it. You begin to find out who you are and the identity that you once thought was yours changes into the identity the Lord gives to you.
Interestingly, you not only like the person you are but love the person you become. As you lean on Him to fashion and form you, you can bank on the fact that God makes all things new and beautiful. Life will have hope and excitement for the future because He has a future and a hope for you. This really is true - you just need to take a step forward, no matter how small that step seems.
Laughing again, loving again, hoping again without feeling guilty is a wonderful place to be. Life is worth living again and it is a joy!
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the LORD. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope. In those days when you pray, I will listen. If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. Jeremiah 29: 11-13
